Scenes of you come rushing through you are breaking me down

so break me into pieces that will grow in the ground.



I've been doin' a lot of thinking lately. And it's been about many a thing, but mainly it's been about God...which really isn't all that unusual for me, but this time it's kind of something worth mentioning.

A month or so ago I gave my testimony, and one of the things I said in the beginning of it was that us "youth group children" have it just as hard as the kids that grew up in secular homes and what not. I still stand by that.

But I have this nasty habit of not ever...really listening to what some people say, even if that person is myself.

I said that God can become a kind of wall paper to them. they forget he's there and that he's watching them because he's always been there. so he becomes wall paper; just part of the scenery.

And I warned the people of this, or rather, I stated this...because it was key to my testimony. But even though I was the one that said it, and even though I was the one that wanted people to understand that God will kick you in the face when you least expect it. I. Forgot. It.

And it showed.

The last two weeks has just plain sucked.

It's not even like anything...has happened really to me. There hasn't really been a giant catastrophe that i can think of that's brought me down, it's just sucked.

And this weekend i was thinking on it, and i realized that i hadn't cracked the bible open in ages. (two weeks. funny how that works) and that i hadn't really been praying. and that the music i had been listening to lately had been not necissarily bad, but certainly not good. (I try to keep a healthy balance between secular and non-secular)

But It finally dawned on me that I needed to pull myself together and get with the program.

It sucks to feel...alienated...not even necissarily alienated. but just alone. And all it took for me to fix it was a quick prayer here, another one there, maybe a little bit of RED here and there. Some psalms. it's really not that difficult.

Ad if you think that you can just continue frolicking on in life without your handbook and invisible best friend then your sorely mistaken and your going to be hurting very soon