this ain't no love song

I just felt like just gettin' my guitar on.

I've always wanted to go to Europe and be in that Romantic and oh-so-beautiful atmosphere...the Old World where all the buildings are old and crumbly with vines ensnaring the thoughts and dreams of past generations and all their forefathers and blah blah blah and all that romantic crap that europe seems to illicit in us Americans.

In reality, Europe looks like everywhere else but with older buildings and with smaller cars. There are tourists everywhere and people that I would never be able to communicate with no matter how many Italian and Greek Podcasts I listen to. And I would ultimatly be dissapointed with the fact that I won't be able to hear the whispers the vines can, and I'll ultimatly be dissapointed with the fact that their are cigarette butts floating in the fountains and i'll be dissapointed in the fact that the pennies I throw in will only get all moldy and green.

So, I'm not quite as enthusiastic in going to Europe. Because I know that I'll be dissapointed. And it's not because Europe isn't a good place. Because I'm sure it is! I'm sure It's a beautiful place with beautiful people, but the Europe I currently harbor in my own thoughts is the one of fairy tales. The perfect one that I know doesn't really exist.

I don't know where this is going...maybe me finally realizing that I need to be more realistic?

Like love! It's overdramatized so much! and yeah! Love feels all fluttery and crap when you first start off! But eventually thats going to stop and you have to make a choice to love someone...you have to strive to keep the relationship going and stuff...or else...you'll never succeed.

And crap.

Give me a reason

Give me a reason to make me smile cuz I think I forgot how.

Sup dawgs?!

I took a three hour long nap a couple of hours ago and I find myself quite unable to sleep. (not that i've tried yet, but I know it's a hopeless endeavour so I may as well stay up watching movie's on Netflix. Good movies, but ones that take a very very very long time to load. So maybe I should have made 'movies' 'movie' instead. But anyhow.)

I really want a tree that hangs over a lake that I could sit on and look off into the distance all romantic and profound. Cuz then maybe I would know what I'm doing. Or at least I'd look like I know what I'm doing (because Hollywood is so good at making a sunset look just like the movies)

And women have our own crosses to bear. And just cuz the Scientific Revolution was dominated by men doesen't mean that they weren't in Germany with their own equipment with their own aspirations that the Royal Society didn't care about.

And thats my dumb tirade of the day.

the secret lives of daydreams

Catullus and E.E. Cummings.

Both not so different from each other, but with two very different styles, but still two of the greatest poets who have ever lived.

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Catullus V

Let us live, my Lesbia, and let us love,
and let us judge all the rumors of the old men
to be worth just one penny!
The suns are able to fall and rise:
When that brief light has fallen for us,
we must sleep a never ending night.
Give me a thousand kisses, then another hundred,
then another thousand, then a second hundred,
then yet another thousand more, then another hundred.
Then, when we have made many thousands,
we will mix them all up so that we don't know,
and so that no one can be jealous of us when he finds out
how many kisses we have shared.